Never Say Die
by hamster0live
Summary: Fall in love with the passion that sparks Jane & Maura's romance. Slash from the instagram fan account alexanderharmonlove. Please R&R if you like it! Thanks. :D (Some cursing)
1. Chapter 1

**JANE**

The fire that fuels in my belly and the sensation of her soft skin. The warm breath she exhales, and the exhilaration that I feel when she's near me. Only few out of many reasons why I can't get enough of Maura. I've spent majority of my life in bullshit romances, and the moment I fell in love with Maura, is when I realized why it didn't work out with anyone else. All this time I've been shoving man after man into my life, looking with my eyes and not my heart only to miss the sight of my one and only that was standing right in front of me.  
All moments with Maura are amazing, I love when I'm sitting on the couch and she'll come and sit on my lap. There in those moments where I can just hold her, and the simple things like holding her hand are my favorite. She'll lean in for a kiss, and her warm breath cuddles me like a blanket. The feel of her lips, so soft and delicate. The taste of her kiss doesn't even compare with any food. I'm Italian, do you know how much good food I've had in my lifetime? A whole fucking lot. (Courtesy of Ma.) But the ravioli doesn't even come close to Maura's kiss. Sometimes I lift her up and set her on the kitchen table and a make out session is my dinner. (Best fucking dinner EVER, by the way.)  
Don't get me wrong, she has quirks, we all know that. But that's what makes her my Maura. When she talks as if she's Google, I usually distract her with an "I love you" or a "hey! Idea, let's make out!" Quirks are what makes you fall in love with someone though. There's nothing in the world that would make me want to change Maura, she's perfect as far as I'm concerned. In the small hours of the night, I dream of her. Though I'm pretty sure she dreams of a medical textbook, which is somewhat disappointing and it kind of weirds me out...

 **A/N: Jane and Maura belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. We don't own them or any of their affiliates, blah blah blah. But we do own the plot of this particular story. *curtsey* Thanks for reading, guys! Feel free to leave comments!**


	2. Chapter 2

**MAURA**

Jane calls at maybe six, seven. I'm in the middle of coaxing some cactus into Bass, and the ring startles me so bad that my hand slips just so my finger gets trapped in the tortoise's maw. "Ooh," I hiss, pulling myself free. "Ooh, ow." I set the cactus down in front of him and retreat to the kitchen, clicking my cell on as I hunt down a pack of cheap plastic Band-Aids. "Hey, Jane."

"Mau-Wait, what's happening?" It's odd, how high her voice can get when she's freaked.

I'm dimly aware that I'm hiccuping into the phone, sniffling through the pain. "Nothing. I just hurt myself, is all." I don't sound that convincing, but at least I'm not sobbing. That would really throw her for a loop. She'd be over here in three seconds, sirens blaring. "Feeding Bass."

She lets this sink in during the distrustful silence. She has a thing against "oversized turtles," even though I've tried multiple times to explain that Bass is a tortoise. "Mm. Do you want me to head over now?"

"No. It's not bad." Really it's not. The nail probably won't ever look normal again-an impressive subungual hematoma has started to form-but there's no serious damage done. I won't need stitches.

"I have coffee."

"I imagine." I find the bandages in the cupboard nearest the refrigerator. I've never gotten around to moving them since Angela went around labeling things. I probably should, though. They aren't serving a very practical purpose over here. The knives are all over on the island. "I bet it's that instant brew stuff, too."

There's a melodramatic gasp at the other end of the line. "At least it's not flavored with panda poop or anything."

"That's tea, Jane."

"Whatever. I don't drink it either way." I hear the phone brush the fabric of her shirt as she transfers me to the other ear. "Do you want a ride today?"

"Yeah. I'm still trying to get my brake pads fixed."

"Okay. Be there in an hour." I can hear her move to hang up, can almost see her second-guess herself and grin. I feel the phone move back to its spot in the curve between her shoulder and ear. "Love you, bye."

She doesn't actually say it, but I hear it there all the same. "Bye, Jane," I say, and I can feel myself blushing.

I drag Bass back to the bedroom and dress. A pair of slacks, the cream cable-knit sweater I like. Boots, because I can't deal with snow and heels on the same day. By the time I finish, Jane has let herself in and nudged Bass out of the way with a distasteful mrmph.

She flops down onto the mattress without the slightest bit of grace. "I'm so tired."

"Up late?" I roll my eyes. Over the course of three or four weeks, she's complained about how she gets maybe three hours of sleep a night. "Again?"

"I don't know why." Jane rolls over onto her back and I sit beside her. "I take your 'elephant dart' crap every night."

"Melatonin is hardly an elephant dart." I push back a curl from my face, then sigh. "You really should see a doctor."

She doesn't skip a beat. "I am."

"One that doesn't deal with the 'already dead.'" I lean back onto my elbows, then shrug. "Unless you want me to make you sleep forever."

She gives me a shove. "Jesus, Maura." Jane snorts and rolls her eyes. "There are two kinds of people."

"I find that highly unlikely with over seven billion of us."

She probably has something really snarky worked up and ready to fire, but her phone buzzes and cuts her off. "Rizzoli."

My pocket starts to vibrate. I pull at my phone, a sinking feeling of dread settling low in my gut. "Isles."


	3. Chapter 3

**JANE**

I plopped into the drivers' seat and looked up to find Maura staring at me through the window.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "Driving?"

"No, absolutely not. Your driving is reckless and I don't like it."

I rolled my eyes so far back I thought they were going to fall onto the floorboards. I dragged myself out of the seat, and glared at her as she smiled. I have to give her credit, she comes to a perfect stop at every stop sign.

It took us maybe fifteen minutes to get to the crime scene, already cordoned off with yellow police tape. It's an abandoned warehouse, one of the big, crumbling orange brick ones, and a uniform had to lead us inside so we wouldn't get lost.

"Whadda we got?" I called to Vince, who was pacing paths into the floor beside a heavy, industrial-sized metal door. It hung slightly ajar, and I caught a glimpse of a bright yellow evidence cone, but nothing more.

Vince looked like he was going to shit his pants. I'm assuming he thought the dead body was speaking to him? But he recovered fast. "I've got no fucking clue." He gave me a long dramatic stare.

I gave half an eye roll as if nothing could phase me. I looked at Maura, she shrugged her shoulders and I could feel my mind racing into a sudden fear. I couldn't process anything, not with her just standing there, watching me as I tried desperately not to vomit and make the smell even worse.

Some sights you can never unsee. This wasn't like seeing your grandma naked, It was a million times worse. Maura's eyes seemed empty. I tried to find some sort of emotion in her face, but it was nowhere to be found. She crossed her arms and walked closer to the corpse, I followed. No crime scene is easy to look at, (you could ask Frost about that) but it sure is a hell of a lot easier when your victim has skin, and you can't see all the internal organs at the same time. God bless Maura and her job.

He/she's neck was knotted inside a hangman's noose, swaying back and forth, back and forth. The eyes had been torn out of their sockets, and there was no trace of flesh on the body. Maura put on her gloves and began to examine it.

"I haven't reached a confirmed conclusion, but there is a distinct possibility that the victim was a male." Her voice shook, but her eyes continued to have a blankness to them. I tried to comfort her with a pat on her head.

Hairspray has the grossest texture in case you were wondering...


	4. Chapter 4

**MAURA**

Vince looks sick; he's neon green around the gills. I look over to Jane to see if she's faring any better, but I think she's actually worse off. She doesn't necessarily look as bad as Vince does, but she's stuck in this state of suspended animation, the kind where I'm not even sure if she's breathing. I mean, I can see her chest moving, so I know that logically, she must be, but part of me feels like it's just her muscles moving in and out of their own accord, remembering, but there's not any actual air going in.

They're both pale around the mouth, and that's how I know how bad it is.

I wonder how bad I must look, because Jane's attention swivels to me, unable to look at the body and not quite ready to look for evidence. Her eyes go milky around the edges and in the middle they're torn between blank and tortured. She mouths something to me, and it takes me a second to understand what she's trying to say. Were they alive?

A shudder runs down my spine. Skinned alive. I won't know until I do the autopsy, but the prospect is enough to make me nauseous. For such a methodical job, the murderer-I've decided, already, that this is a homicide; conclusive evidence isn't necessary in this particular case-have to have a surgeon's hand and a still body. If the victim was alive, they'd have to at least be paralyzed.

I shake my head. I don't know.

Jane's eyes finally settle on going blank, and she and Vince start traipsing through the debris on the ground, searching for clues to take their mind off of the body strung up with such perfect care. My techs have started to arrive, and I instruct the one taking Suzie's place-a mousy little thing called Samantha-to bag up the organs that have fallen to the floor. "Triple glove it today, okay?" I tell her. She shoots me a queer look, then nods.

Nobody speaks as we pack up the body. By the time we finish it's started to go into rigor, and the body bag crinkles and jerks as a handful of techs loads it up into the back of the van.

I hear Samantha mutter, "Oh God."

She's straight out of college.

By way of making conversation, I come up behind her and quietly ask, "did you find the eyes?"

The petite, emotionally scarred brunette shakes her shaggy little head. Her words don't have any sound when she speaks; all I can hear is air. But I know what she says. "No."


	5. Chapter 5

**JANE**

I walked into Maura's office. The window's reflection showed the body laying on the autopsy table, untouched.

"Hey, why haven't you started the autopsy yet?"

"I just haven't."

"Maura, please don't tell me this is part of a weird study that requires you to drink vinegar or something and then wait to do an autopsy for days from one of the weird shit articles you read, I really don't have time for-"

"I can't touch it, Jane."

"What?"

"Well, I can touch the body, it's not a physical impossibility, but I'm unable to touch it due to some sort of psychological reason."

I bit my lip and contained my frustration.

"Maura, are you-" Her eyes became glossy and I could see a tear forming. I looked back at the body, and let out a harsh breath.

"Come here."

She drug herself to me and softly fell into my embrace. I wrapped my arms tight around her waist, I could feel the moist drops of her tears on my shoulder. I put my head on top of hers and slightly rocked her. I'd never seen Maura breakdown, more often than not I could call her a cyborg. My heart crumbled every time I heard her sniffle. I kissed her head and pushed her out to where I could look into her eyes.

"Maura, listen to me. As much as I would love you to do this autopsy because you don't irritate me near as much as Kent, you don't have to do this if it's going to do this to you."

"This is my job. I'm not going to let emotion stop me from my work."

"I'll see you at home okay?" She nodded. I barley got out of the frame of the door.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." I smiled and felt my cheeks burn up.

"I love you too, Maura."


	6. Chapter 6

**MAURA**

I can't tell Jane. I just can't. So I call Vince in. "What do you have?" he asks me, gruff. It's rare for me to ask him in here personally-specifically without the company of Jane-and I think he's scared. Truly. The kind of scared where it makes your hands sweat and your legs tremble.

The kind of scared that would make it impossible to hold a gun, and that is the most terrifying kind of "scared" there is.

"I think I identified the body."

Vince's eyes go wide, risk a glance past me. I haven't cut it open yet-I couldn't bring myself to-and he allows himself to look dubious for just a second. "Okay."

"I need you to ask me who it is," I say, pulling at my scrub top. "I don't-I can't-"

"Who is it?"

I take a deep breath and grab the edge of an empty table to steady myself. "I just-kind of on a whim, right?-I ran his dental records." By now, at least we'd all figured out the corpse was a "he". Just as we were leaving the crime scene today, an unfortunate rookie cop found the severed family jewels in the opposite side of the building. Still, just to confirm, I checked the angle of his pelvis. Everything checked out. "I mean, I'm still waiting for the results, but it's..."

"Maura."

"I think it's Casey." The words tumble from my mouth, and I think a bit of vomit is going to come up with them. No dice there, at least. "There were gold crowns on two of the back molars, and the left canine was chipped. Just a little, at the tip. And the facial structure-" I let the sentence trail off, bite the inside of my lip. My voice is barely a whisper when I continue. "It's uncanny."

Vince doesn't ask how or why I notice all of these things. I think I've always been a bit paranoid, though, about finding somebody's body and not being able to identify it. I notice teeth, eyes, shape of the jaw, height, estimated weight, and I remember in case somebody I know ends up on my table.

For instance, God forbid, Jane: slight overbite-maybe three and a quarter overjet-five nine, one hundred and forty-two pounds, dark brown eyes, a filling in the second bicuspid on the right side.

Vince clears his throat. "You're sure?"

"Well, I'm speculating."

"You're sure enough that you wouldn't tell Jane."

I swallow, casting my eyes down to my feet, wrapped in paper booties. "Yes."


	7. Chapter 7

**JANE**

I plopped myself onto Maura's couch. _God this sucks_ I thought as I repositioned to a somewhat comfortable position. It's all about eye appeal for Maura, to her, comfort can go fuck itself. Becoming increasingly worried about her, I dialed her office.

"Dr. Isles ."

"It's me, where the hell are you?" I heard a booming thumb. Damn that giant turtle, scares me every time. "I waited for you in the car, but after ten minutes I decided I was tired." I grinned knowing she had rolled her eyes.

"I wanted to finish the autopsy, so I asked if Vince could give me a ride earlier."

"Oh awesome, what'd you find out?" The other end was silent, I thought we'd lost service.

"I'll see you soon. Bye Jane." The line went dead and I squinted my eyes, that is until I remembered I had snuck in my instant coffee this morning. As the coffee maker brewed, my mind began to wonder off. I then heard keys jiggling the lock, and Maura tumbled in.

"Gross. Jane, do you know how abundant in preservatives that is? Wait never mind. Sit." I popped my head back at her command, but I did as told.

"The victim, Janie..." Her voice was weak and she was playing with her hands.

"Maura, I can handle it, just say it. Who is the victim?" She stared at me, and her eyes became glossy.

"It's Casey."

"My Casey?" She nodded slowly.

My heart fell, and I could feel my airways closing. The room began to spin. Maura sat beside me, and I laid my head on her shoulder. She stroked my hair, trying to be comforting, she's never been good at this emotion field. I tried to find humor in anything Maura was doing to distract myself, but she wasn't being funny dammit.

"Do you want to stay over?" I nodded with my head still on her shoulder, I felt like a five year old. I then realized how Maura must feel,

" Maura, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know with what Casey and I were-"

"Jane, I'm not uncomfortable. You're upset because you still have a psychological bond with him even though he's not you're significant other. It's completely normal, plus I know you're mine." I giggled at her arrogance, and she responded with a smile and light eyes. Within an instant I felt my heart strings being yanked again, and a tear fell. Maura handed me my coffee.

"Don't cry, drink your preservatives and we'll go to bed."

I gave her a crooked smile and gulped the whole cup within a minute. I lightly tossed it in the sink and Maura and I headed to the bedroom. Maura annoyingly pulled back the covers at a weird angle as she always does, and I glared at her and ripped the cloth out of her hands and climbed in. She followed, and snuggled into the nook of my neck and shoulder. I kissed her head and closed my eyes, just to feel another tear drip down my cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

**MAURA**

Jane waits for me in the kitchen the next morning, her head lolling on her shoulders because she's been up for at least four hours. I know, because when I woke up halfway through the night, she wasn't there.

"Hey," I say, gently.

"Hey."

"How-how, um-"

"I'm okay, Maura. Really." She blinks and turns away. "I just didn't sleep is all."

"Nightmares again?"

"Nightmares?" She has to think about it, then shrugs. "No." A slim finger traipses across the countertop to the pile of sugars she dragged out of one of the cupboards. Jane uses her teeth to open four at a time, then dumps them all into her mug. She curses when one of the packets slips from her grip and falls into her coffee. It takes her a minute to get it out, and while she's distracted, I move closer. I can hear her muttering to herself. "Couldn't breathe, couldn't close my eyes. I couldn't move, goddamit. I couldn't _move_."

"Jane."

"And that turtle. My God, Maura, he just thunks around all over the place."

"I can put him outside," I offer. Then, quieter, "and maybe call your mom?"

Jane's body tenses. I can see every muscle harden beneath her tee, watch her spine stiffen bone by bone. "Don't call Ma." It comes out as a growl, and she shakes her head, her body flopping back into that lifeless, gelatinous state. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

It is the wrong thing to say. Jane jumps to her feet, knocking her mug over with her forearm. The chair she had been sitting on tumbles over, missing Bass by an inch and a half, give or take. I flinch, and she starts pacing furious, oblong shapes in the path between the fridge and the sink on the opposite wall. "It's not 'okay,' Maura. I-they're not going to let me work this." She looks at me, her face stricken and drained to a color that rivals the perfectly white, powdery paste of plaster. "Oh my God. Maura, they're not going to let me work this."

"It's going to be-" I clamp my mouth shut, allowing myself to think. When I speak, my words are quiet. Even though they've been chosen with great care, there's still a possibility that they'll be wrong again. I've never been great in these kinds of situations. "It's going to get better. Later."

Jane nods, probably mostly for my benefit. "I want to sit in for the autopsy."

"Oh, Jane. I don't think-"

"I'm going to," she says, more calm than I've heard her all morning. "I'm going to have to tell his family something, aren't I?"

Really, she probably won't even have to do that. We can send people-uniformed, anonymous cops; newbies who are starting out, maybe, or long-standing vets with sincere, reverent voices-out to the farthest corners of Boston. We can have them find his family, his Army buddies. We can have them say the words _I'm sorry for your loss_. We have people for this.

Only I know she won't stand for that. "I can tell you whatever you need to know."

"No you won't." Jane snorts and even starts to laugh these startling, hysterical giggles. An ascending set of bubbling gurgles that are a cross between hiccups and terrified, childlike sobs. "You won't, Maura. Not if it's bad enough."

"I will," I say.

It's the first lie I've allowed myself to say in over thirteen years.


	9. Chapter 9

**JANE**

My head was pounding, and the image of the body- of Casey replayed in my thoughts. I felt my face become warm, and Maura came and sat beside me and put her arm around me.

"Neither of us are going to the station today." I turned my head so fast I could've snapped my neck.

"Maura! I want to do this. It's my job, it doesn't matter who the victim is. I'm going to the station and so are you!"

"Jane. You don't understand, you're -"

"No! I'm fine. You're only doing this because you think I can't handle this but that's-thats bullshit, because I can and-"

"You're suspended from duty Jane." I was certain my pupils dilated within seconds and I felt weak.

"What?"

Maura motioned me to her. I threw myself down beside her. It felt like my world was crashing on top of me, I laid my head on Maura's lap and I heard myself sobbing quietly.

"Vince didn't have the heart to tell you, so he called me." I nodded slowly.

"Why aren't you going?"

"Because, I don't want to leave you alone while you're in this kind of state. Kent can finish the autopsy." I rolled my eyes, I hate that Scottish freak. Maura got up and went in the kitchen.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" I made a blech noise.

"No, I don't want panda poop or elephant darts I want to work."

Maura's eyes became soft. "I know Jane. But maybe this is for the best."

"It's not Maura. It's not. It's my job, I can do this. Why won't anyone give me a chance?"

"They are just trying to protect you. I don't think this is how most people react when they're told they don't have to go to work."

I glared at her, and she made a confused face. I raised my eyebrows and she finally got the message. She put her head in the air as she had an aha moment. My head felt heavy on my shoulders, and I sank down to the couch. Before anything else could phase me, my body relaxed and my eyes slowly fell closed.


	10. Chapter 10

**MAURA**

Jane is still sleeping when Kent starts texting me. By the time I've outmaneuvered Jane's sleeping form, he's blown up my phone with sixty-three messages.

Wait. There's number sixty-four.

I click through them, stopping somewhere in the middle. _Victim was definitely alive_ is one of the more disturbing that I come across, then _still no eyes_. _Korsak and other Rizzoli looking for murder scene, maybe eyes there. Not enough blood at site; body dump._ Further down, there are mentions of restraints and divots of missing muscle, leading him to believe that Casey wasn't paralyzed, but held down.

The very last message that I get is _his heart must have just given out._

Soon after that one comes in, another follows up, in all caps. _DENTAL RECORDS IN._ Kent pauses for fifteen minutes, and I feed Bass a handful of spinach. _You were right._

Jane, of course, was right. I'm not going to tell her all of this. Maybe I'll tell her that he was at least knocked out for most of it, that he wouldn't have felt any pain. But then, she'll probably find out the truth anyway. She has an annoying ability for that kind of stuff.

I'm walking back into the living room to give her the news-I've decided to tell her the whole story, so she doesn't hate me for hiding information from her (that's the worst kind of betrayal, for Jane)-only she's not there.

I don't spend the ten minutes it would take to search the house for her. I know where she went, and she took my car to get there. I grab some money for a bus pass and shrug into a coat as I run out to the nearest bus stop. "Goddamit, Jane" becomes my mantra, puffing out of my mouth in puffs of steam as I run, and I dial Korsak when I get on the bus.

"She's already here," he informs me.

"I'm sorry," I pant. "I'm coming to get her."

"I-" Vince cuts himself off. I can imagine him pushing his fingers roughly through his hair in the silence. His voice drops to a whisper. "Maybe you should just come sit with her. Try to get her to at least get something to eat, and take her back to the station."

My hand finds its way to my brow, massaging a headache that isn't quite official yet but is getting there. "How bad is it?"

"It's bad, Maura. Frankie's had to body-block her twice. He's sitting with her outside, on the curb. They're both going to get frostbite."

"I'm almost there."

"Okay." Vince clears his throat. "Maura?"

"Yeah."

"How bad is it?"

"I'm okay," I say. "I'm okay. Just-watch Jane."


	11. Chapter 11

**JANE**

I'd never seen Maura run so fast, especially in heels.

"You were right..." I whispered.

"About what?" She sat beside me.

"I can't handle it Maura." I pushed my hair away from my face. Tear drops stained the ground, making it look like it was storming. We were silent for a few minutes, I slid my hand into Maura's. She tightly gripped it, and rubbed my back with her other hand. I looked into her eyes, then let my head fall on her shoulder.

"I should've listened."

"Yes, you should have." I giggled at her inappropriate response.

"Really Maura? You're the worst when it comes to comforting words." Her face showed a look of concern.

"I- Did I say something wrong again?" I went into a laughing fit,

"Yes. But it was cute, and made me laugh." She began to laugh with me. I stood up, and reached my hand out, she took my hand, and I pulled her up. I walked into the station with her following behind me, Korsak was rummaging through paperwork. Frankie looked at me, his nose still bleeding.

"Frankie, I'm sorry I made your nose bleed. I didn't mean it."

He nodded, and he wrapped his arms around me. "It's alright, Janie."

Maura motioned me over to her and I followed her to the car. I looked at her and she gave me a sweet smile, and I smiled back and took her hand. An instant later, I felt a hard pound on the back of my head and fell to the ground. The last thing I could remember was Maura screaming my name.

I woke to Korsak kneeling beside me with an EMT beside him. I jolted my upper body up,

"Where is Maura?! Oh my God Vince, where is she?" I jumped to my feet and screamed her name.

"Jane, they took her."

"Who took her? What the hell is happening? Vince!" He closed his eyes and sighed.

"We don't know anything..." I felt my legs go numb, and I my knees slammed onto the concrete, I could hear myself crying hysterically and occasionally yelling Maura, but nothing else. In that moment, my world came to a halt.


	12. Chapter 12

_She is too easy for him to scare. When he shows her the eyes, she breaks down in tears. When he brings out the skin-hacked in some places but still in one piece (an accomplishment that he is rather proud of, since he's only read about how to do it)-she screams so loud that he has to move her to the basement, where she won't be heard._

* * *

 **MAURA**

I listen for his footsteps in the hall, too terrified to move. Every time he returns, he's brought something worse than the time before. First were Casey's eyes, laid almost ceremoniously in my lap, and then his skin. That's on the floor at my feet, draped over the toe of my right shoe.

"I'm so sorry," I say, either to Casey or to Jane. I'm not sure which.

He comes in with a tray, the third time. I hear the familiar clatter of clips and scalpels and scissors, and that's when I know to be afraid.

* * *

 _He finds the melon baller in his pack, favors it in his hands with the same reverence a Catholic priest has for the Holy Communion. Oh, how he wishes he had used it first last time, with the man. But by the time he'd gotten most of the man's skin off, he'd already died. It was quite a shame, really. He would really have liked to know what it would have sounded like, had he started with the eyes. But he had been too much of a coward last time, backing away from the prospect should the man die right out of the gate._

 _Luckily, he thinks the woman is stronger. Of course, that also poses a risk to him, but he's already resolved to drill her ankles, effectively hobbling her. See her try to escape then._

 _He laughs at the absurdity of the idea._

* * *

 **MAURA**

If I wiggle enough, I can knock Casey's eyes off my lap and onto the floor. I don't know if that's some sort of sacrilege, if normal people would do that, but contamination of evidence or no, I can't just keep looking at them. One of them has been so abused that the back half has been almost cleanly cut off, and it's leaking whatever is left of the vitreous gel out onto my pant leg.

In a brief moment of hysteria, I wonder if it will stain.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! I got a request to make longer chapters. I can start merging them, if that's what you guys want. I want reading this to be fun and easy for you! Just let me know in the comments. You can also PM me, if you want. :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been trying to merge some chapters, and I was trying not to make it confusing with the added character. I'm afraid it's as good as I'm going to get it. :/ Hope you like it, though. :) Oh, and also thank you to all of you new followers/favorites! I got a little behind in my thanking you individually. Forgive me?**

* * *

 **JANE**

I sobbed, I screamed, I paced around the bed Maura and I had laid in together just hours ago. My heart felt as if it was bleeding, the feeling of emptiness began to replace everything. All I could do was cry. Cry and pace, cry and pace. Dammit. This isn't helping you find her Jane. I dialed Vince,

"Anything yet?" I struggled to get the words out through the tears.

"No, Jane. I promise I'll call you if anything comes up." I shook my head and pounded my fist against the wall.

"Dammit Vince! What am I supposed to do if she dies? I can't go on without her, I can't do it. God dammit Vince find Maura or I'll do it myself!" Something snapped in my head, "Actually, I will do it myself."

"Jane, you can't work this case, if you do any of the sort there will be consequences. Please, just rethink this."

"Vince, you can take away my badge, but NO ONE is taking Maura away from me. End of story." It was silent on the other line, I knew he was pondering.

"If I let you help, do you promise you'll be careful?" I felt a glimmer of hope and my mood softened.

"Yes- Yes! I promise. Thank you." The line went dead. My head was pounding, all I could think about was Maura. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I did nothing but play at least a thousand scenarios in my head with what could've happened to her. Never in my life have I been so weak and alone. As frustration began to build, I felt a tear fall and it hit the picture of Maura and me. I gripped the frame tight. It was from the time we went to the zoo because some worker there had been gunned down. Maura was politely bossy as usual and got one of the keepers to let us hold a Koala. We both had big smiles, I snorted at the Koala gripping both our hands. I stared at Maura, her sweet brown eyes, perfect curls. I made a deal with God right then in there. I simply bargained bring Maura back alive, or I will join her in the afterlife.

* * *

 **MAURA**

He comes in with the drill, perfectly poised and grinning-a man who might have just crossed the grand canyon on a tightrope wire. And I guess, in a way, this is also an achievement like that. At least to a certain kind of mind. I do have a prestigious title. A little-known one, one that is only held in the circles of death, but a prestigious title nonetheless. "Please," I beg, trying to squirm backwards. But I noticed that the chair was bolted to the floor maybe three, four hours ago.

* * *

 _Scared so scared little baby crying scared ooh gonna die gonna die gonna die tonight_

* * *

 **MAURA**

"People will be looking for me," I threaten, even though I am in no position to do so. "Whole armies of Boston's finest." But he continues to hum this off-sounding lullaby deep in his throat, settling down on his knees before me. He checks the strap on one of my ankles, straightens his spectacles, and grins.

* * *

 _oooh, gonna die gonna die gonna die tonight, ooooh, gonna seeeee the lights_

 _...of Hell._

That makes him laugh.

* * *

 **MAURA**

When he can't take anymore of my pleading, he rips off the bottom quarter of his shirt-a cheap cotton-poly blend-and shoves it into my mouth with two fingers. I try to bite them, but he is too quick. Before I have the chance to spit it back out, he secures it with a strip of duct tape.

He looks at me and grins. "Are you ready to begin?"


End file.
